Chapter Thirty: A Lifetime Journey

And finally, here we are on the last chapter of my series "30 and Okay".

When I was brainstorming this series, my main goal was to provide reassurance to those who may feel behind in achieving their goals by a certain age. I, too, have experienced moments of self-doubt and frustration, wondering where I went wrong. Through listening to and reading success stories, I came to understand that setbacks are a natural part of the journey. This series stands as a testament to the unpredictable nature of life, waiting for us to explore and conquer its challenges.

As highlighted in my previous chapter, with age comes wisdom, and now I firmly believe in the power of timing; letting events unfold naturally to reach their rightful destination. It may sound unbelievable, but when I made the decision to embark on this blog series, everything fell into place perfectly as my 31st birthday is approaching.

What started as a casual idea has blossomed into a profound journey of self-discovery and personal development. I have come to realize the immense value of writing this blog, not just as a creative outlet but as a tool for introspection, connection, and growth. It has become a cornerstone of my daily routine, a sanctuary where I can explore my thoughts, share my voice, and connect with a community that uplifts and inspires me.

I no longer hold my painful feelings and thoughts inside. I've taught myself to seek help, ask questions, stand up for myself, and engage in those uncomfortable talks in order to prevent all of this from bothering me later. That's just what my recovery has done—it has enhanced and deepened my relationship with myself and others. It was comforting to me to know that I am deserving of wonderful things. My current therapeutic work is giving me the confidence that I deserve them. My life has changed to include self-care, which has enabled me to let go of everything that was causing me pain.

But my healing is still an ongoing process.

I still have moments when I question myself if the investment of my time and energy made great contribution to my healing. However, the best way to acknowledge my healing progress is by self reflecting on my journey.

• I listen to my emotions first. I never knew when to let my feelings show and how to handle it as a child. Now, I have come to the realization that my emotions are valid, but not every reaction is valid and needed. I do not sabotage myself anymore when I feel overwhelmed or disappointed, instead, I evaluate the level of my emotions and cope with them.

• I acknowledge difficult conversations. I am an overthinker which may lead to assumptions and drowns me in the misery of the unknown. Sparking the conversation for clarity gives me peace and allows me to understand the other person's perspective despite having a different opinion. Also, no reaction or not having the last word is not a sign of weakness.

• I can let go more easily now. Even though this is still an ongoing process, I am proud of how I filter things now. Upon realizing that clinging to what no longer serves me was causing significant harm, I had to face the challenge of learning how to let go. Stressing less over the things I have no control over and worry more on the things I do puts me at ease. In this case, filtering leads a clearer path to the person I want to be.

• Embracing self love, self worth & patience. Being an perfectionist can be a blessing or a curse. I thought I had to have a image like a Victoria Secret's model or be super brilliant like Albert Einstein, but I am my own person. I hold my own special power that I have yet to discover. I find time for my mental health by reading affirmations to walks by the lakefront. Family quality time especially with my boys keeps me grounded and reminds me the beauty of loved ones. Again, I may not be where I want to be but I am working towards it every day. Hard work will always pay off.

• Always filling my cup. Creating new habits is actually fun! Reading a new book, learning a new skill or listening to motivational audios adds knowledge and new visions. To know what you don't know is so empowering to the mind and your inner peace. This has allowed me to be open minded and step out of my comfort zone by starting a business, attending self development trainings and learning from others.

Now, the ugly truth is this is not a journey that will work overnight or be a one time done deal. You may not feel invincible after each phase and will have moments of uncertainty along the way. Understand that you are an human and a student of life who is seeking to find the best version of you. This journey serves as a valuable lesson in adapting to and embracing change.

Because you have come this far with me, I just want to say:

Words cannot fully express the depth of pride I feel when I look at everything you have accomplished and going to in the future. Your hard work, dedication, and perseverance have not gone unnoticed. Each milestone you reach, each challenge you overcome, fills me with an overwhelming sense of pride. Your commitment to excellence and your unwavering determination are truly inspiring. I am proud of the person you are and the person you are becoming. Your achievements are a testament to your strength and character, and I have no doubt that you will continue to achieve great things in the future. Keep reaching for the stars, knowing that even as a stranger, I will always be here cheering you on every step of the way. You got this!

Thank you for reading this chapter. I hope you enjoyed this series and I hope you or someone you know can relate. Please leave any respectful feedback. Have a blessed day!

Xoxo,